Romance is more than about just pleasing each other, it’s a signal that you still care, that you still find your partner exciting, mysterious, worth impressing and pleasing. However, often time can our partners of those elements, and turn them from the wonderful person you met to somebody comfortable and well known, predictable and taken for granted. As soon as you slip into that rut, where you no longer feel like doing much more than the basics together, than your relationship can begin sliding into the danger zone. If there is no excitement in your relationship, than is it too farfetched to believe your partner might start searching for excitement somewhere else? No—best to bring the romance back, and keep your love alive and well.
Too often people go about romance the wrong way, and for the wrong reasons. We all know what common, romantic gestures are. Flowers, dinner, jewelry. The standard romantic gestures are common, done by everybody, and as a result can seem to lack inspiration, thought, and consequently the very romance they are meant to represent. If you’re just doing what everybody else does, than your partner might very well think you are doing so out of a vague sense of obligation. Nothing will kill romance faster.
Instead, you have to ask yourself, why be romantic? Why should I do something romantic for my partner? What inspires me to do this, to do something special for them? What about them makes me want to impress them, excite them, show them how much I care about them? The purpose for romance is to make your partner feel appreciated, desirable, wanted, loved—special. Thus, common romantic gifts often fail to do exactly that, unless a unique spin is put on them. Much better is a romantic gesture that reflects something personal about the person, some attribute or quality or aspect of them that you truly admire and love.
For example, in a recent Will Ferrell comedy, he tries to woo a baker. Rather than show up with the usual compliment of chocolates and flowers, he brings her a tray of bags of flour, riffing off the traditional romantic gift, and showing an appreciation for her unique passion. This clues her into the fact that he not only appreciates and loves her, but understands what drives her and why she is special (in fact, romance comedies are an excellent source of ideas—watch and learn how the characters surprise and please each other with unique romantic gestures).
So, if you want to be romantic, think about your partner. What are their main hobbies, interests, passions? What makes them unique? Then, having identified those things, find a way to surprise them with a gift or gesture that incorporates this. You could give a bouquet of sharpened pencils to a writer, for example. What matters almost much as the gift or gesture itself is the effort your partner will perceive your having put into it—you want to show them first and foremost that you are exerting yourself because they are special to you. If your gift does not make them feel unique, than it will fail. Generic gestures are the death of romance—never forget!
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