Not every abusive relationship is physical. Many people are the victims of emotional abuse, which is also destructive. However, because there are no bruises and scars, many people tend to overlook the effects of emotional abuse. Often even the person being abused minimizes the severity of the situation.
Emotional abusers control others by stripping them of their sense of self-worth. Victims of emotional abuse might feel like they have no alternatives or that they have no value without their abusive partner. For these reasons, it can be difficult for people who are emotionally abused to escape from the damaging relationship.
Emotional abusers use shame, fear, name-calling, and yelling to make their partners feel intimidated and to control them. Emotional abusers might even threaten harm or violence as a way of manipulating someone to give them want they want - complete control in their relationship.
Society tends to view emotional abuse as less severe that physical abuse because there are no broken bones or bruises to be seen. However, emotional abuse is scarring and can be very damaging psychologically. It can be difficult to overcome the negative effects of emotional abuse, but one of the best things victims can do is acknowledge the problem and look for ways to feel empowered.
Gaining a sense of empowerment can come from a variety of things. Having the courage to get a divorce or move out can help victims see that they are not helpless. Joining a counseling group or picking a new hobby can be productive too. Others choose to learn martial arts or learn self defense, because these activities can boost a person's self-esteem.
Ways Abusers Try To Control Their Victims:
- Threatening the Victim: Abuser make a number of threats in order to control their partners. Some threaten to hurt or kill their partners, children, or friends and family members. Others may threaten to kill themselves if their partner leaves. And sometimes they threaten to reveal damaging information, or report their partner to child services.
- Intimidating the Victim: By using intimidation, abusers are able to scare their partners into doing what they want. While they may never actually physically abuse their partners or others, they might frequently threaten to do so.
- Blaming the Victim: Abusers always have a reason why they abuse. Frequently they will blame the victims for making them do it. They may also make excuses about their past childhood or blame it on a bad day. According to emotional abusers, abuse is never their fault.
- Dominating the Victim: Abusers always want to feel like they are in charge. The people in their world can be treated as possessions who exist solely to do what they want. Questioning this authority often leads to tantrums and more abusive behavior.
- Humiliating and Isolating the Victim: The abusers goal is to make the partner feel bad about himself or herself. In order to keep the person down, the abuser will often work to keep the victim isolated from family and friends.
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